if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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