mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
what the fuck happened to the tacos
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
