Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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