so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
