Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
