There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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