Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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