i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
