Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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