before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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