Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so let's talk penis.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
