his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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