goodnight i made you a song goodbye
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
