i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
