Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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