check it out our google latitudes are spooning
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
