Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize