girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
