So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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