Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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