My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
