I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
