he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize