Actions speak louder than pants.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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