It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
