matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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