That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Randomize
