she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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