We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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