I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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