Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
