just come out here and I will go home with you...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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