I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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