Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
