Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
