maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
only if we run a train.
done.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
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