Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
