Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field http://tfl.nu/5are
  Replies (16) Good night (2651) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez http://tfl.nu/v3fs
  Replies (6) Good night (2433) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  You're 20.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  IT'S BUILD A BEAR!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear. (810): You're 20. (734): IT'S BUILD A BEAR! http://tfl.nu/k2jt
  Replies (149) Good night (11587) Bad night (2274)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/i5uc
  Replies (6) Good night (927) Bad night (3337)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator. http://tfl.nu/5d16
  Replies (31) Good night (1184) Bad night (3882)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing. http://tfl.nu/duvr
  Replies (14) Good night (820) Bad night (2802)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling

  (1-239): View more from Florida

  You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling (1-239): You hooked up with minors in a golf cart? http://tfl.nu/sx7k
  Replies (7) Good night (4273) Bad night (1121)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper? http://tfl.nu/q7x9
  Replies (17) Good night (4348) Bad night (838)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice http://tfl.nu/9qpr
  Replies (1) Good night (1899) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success. http://tfl.nu/9nkx
  Replies (4) Good night (1506) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me. http://tfl.nu/r02t
  Replies (6) Good night (1709) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight? http://tfl.nu/oach
  Replies (3) Good night (787) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong. http://tfl.nu/slbv
  Replies (12) Good night (1090) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex. http://tfl.nu/k0sh
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i hope they name him Joffrey

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much? (908): i hope they name him Joffrey http://tfl.nu/u3f8
  Replies (8) Good night (1251) Bad night (331)

Randomize