The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.