Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her

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(732): View more from New Jersey

only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.

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(815): View more from Illinois

sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(727): View more from Florida

Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.

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(+27): View more from South Africa

A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.

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