Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.

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  (901): the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever. http://tfl.nu/iaa1
  Replies (29) Good night (1021) Bad night (6510)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity

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  (508): Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity http://tfl.nu/5mrd
  Replies (19) Good night (1968) Bad night (2730)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.

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  (440): He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/6rv7
  Replies (13) Good night (4116) Bad night (749)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla

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  (201): dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla http://tfl.nu/0yq4
  Replies (13) Good night (4390) Bad night (1278)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...

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  (902): we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids... http://tfl.nu/udrg
  Replies (2) Good night (1868) Bad night (1057)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am

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  (570): she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am http://tfl.nu/vths
  Replies (21) Good night (1302) Bad night (3519)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.

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  (810): I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here. http://tfl.nu/wy8z
  Replies (10) Good night (3649) Bad night (895)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.

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  (+44): On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling. http://tfl.nu/fq4v
  Replies (0) Good night (840) Bad night (1105)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.

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  (541): Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body. http://tfl.nu/3ysy
  Replies (7) Good night (1902) Bad night (450)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi

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  (832): Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi http://tfl.nu/cj6k
  Replies (10) Good night (1228) Bad night (853)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed

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  (+44): Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed http://tfl.nu/9jww
  Replies (13) Good night (1250) Bad night (525)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  Again?

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  (309): He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass. (1-309): Again? http://tfl.nu/q9t8
  Replies (8) Good night (593) Bad night (1248)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."

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  (239): Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..." http://tfl.nu/k8r7
  Replies (15) Good night (743) Bad night (2286)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).

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  (719): She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree). http://tfl.nu/fkun
  Replies (7) Good night (921) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick

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  (423): What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick http://tfl.nu/pr7p
  Replies (6) Good night (230) Bad night (326)

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