He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize
