Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy

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  (814): i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45 (773): Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy http://tfl.nu/wt4o
  Replies (7) Good night (3572) Bad night (1058)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.

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  (401): he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys. http://tfl.nu/w8m7
  Replies (28) Good night (1828) Bad night (6935)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.

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  (913): We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer. http://tfl.nu/ud7u
  Replies (21) Good night (4482) Bad night (1095)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Mattress luging...It's a long story.

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  (503): Mattress luging...It's a long story. http://tfl.nu/0tlk
  Replies (5) Good night (3319) Bad night (849)
• Favorite

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.

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  (289): Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger. http://tfl.nu/9mbe
  Replies (17) Good night (5538) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster

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  (412): Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster http://tfl.nu/uote
  Replies (5) Good night (1915) Bad night (772)
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  (212): View more from New York

  You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines

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  (212): You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines http://tfl.nu/eq9r
  Replies (14) Good night (1655) Bad night (757)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon

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  (402): You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon http://tfl.nu/n4f7
  Replies (16) Good night (1227) Bad night (753)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy

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  (315): i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy http://tfl.nu/pdy7
  Replies (9) Good night (2081) Bad night (866)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.

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  (715): On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good. http://tfl.nu/74vq
  Replies (11) Good night (1414) Bad night (539)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.

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  (720): I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it. http://tfl.nu/x8ch
  Replies (2) Good night (355) Bad night (1086)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  I seemed to have misplaced my pants...

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  (540): Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?.... (1-540): I seemed to have misplaced my pants... http://tfl.nu/s4v6
  Replies (5) Good night (1114) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.

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  (801): Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom. http://tfl.nu/symd
  Replies (5) Good night (796) Bad night (397)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me

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  (407): We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me http://tfl.nu/k2wx
  Replies (3) Good night (373) Bad night (525)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.

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  (650): I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it. http://tfl.nu/sejz
  Replies (2) Good night (785) Bad night (344)

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