I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
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