stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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