I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
