Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
im six kinds of drunk right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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