Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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