do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The air taste purple.
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