how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sorry about my life...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize