would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I think your dad took our porno
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
