you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
this is an emotional support booty call
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
