You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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