Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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