the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize