he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
