So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
