I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize